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  • Writer's pictureRaymond

Disappointed? Ouch!

We know that life is a series of disappointments, and we know that disappointments act as great learning points for us to improve and minimize our missteps towards a successful endgame. As they say, that which doesn't kill us can only make us stronger.

These are positive reminders to encourage ourselves, but in the aftermath of an almighty disappointment, the pain can be overwhelming. The self-bashing, the blame game, the loss of self-confidence and the actual cost of the disappointing event, can be soul crushing.

For me, I've been in multiple disappointments, and I've learnt tons of valuable lessons from them. But the lessons do not make the hurt any lesser in the moment itself. I believe one perspective to take is to look at the controllable factors. The outcome is pretty much uncontrollable, but our actions beforehand are controllable.

To have peace with yourself in this area, examine whether sufficient research have been done prior to the event, reasonable expectations have been set and preparations have been made to the best of our abilities. Ask yourself if you could turn back time, would you have done the same? I found that I have done all I can, along with prayers and good health. So I'll try not to kick myself too much over here.

Secondly, rationalize the cost. What are the actual losses? Normally our minds exaggerate the losses way more than they actually are. So assess the opportunity cost, whether they are monetary or time. I found mine to be lesser than I thought, especially when compared against immediate opportunities that arise from the disappointing event itself.

Yes, every event yields an opportunity, even a disappointing one. Focus on the positives and don't dwell too long in it. Keep your eyes glued to your endgame!

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